


the hand that rocks the cradle

by TrekFaerie



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Babysitting, Fluff, Gen, Human Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Humor, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 20:10:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15893262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekFaerie/pseuds/TrekFaerie
Summary: RK900: Peerless detective. Killing machine. Excellent babysitter.





	the hand that rocks the cradle

**Author's Note:**

> i really liked fang's "alice is afraid of connie" thing from lesbians and eventually my brain was like "what if RK900 is just kid catnip" because big stronk stoic man with children swarming over him is my aesthetic and now we're here

It was the perfect plan. A plan so perfect, he was slightly shocked he'd been able to come up with it. He'd purposefully distracted Nines when he was leaving his apartment that morning, cleverly overloading him with enough goodbye kisses and pet names and other cutesy shit he always fell like a chump for that his amazing processor of a mind didn't even have a chance to realize he'd left his jacket. Jacket in hand, Gavin was now at the door of Nines' apartment, ready to gallantly return it and possibly segue Nines' surely effusive thanks into more kissing, and then more than that, and then maybe a Hot Pocket. Perfect plan.

He knocked on the door, jacket folded over his arm, and then Nines actually answered the door, and he realized his plan was all for shit because Nines had a bunch of little fucking pink bows tied into his hair and what the absolute fuck.

"Gavin," he said, as if everything was normal and not a fucking nightmare. "Oh, I see you brought my jacket. Thank you."

"Nines, what the _fu_ \--"

Pain blossomed in the spot on his shin he'd been kicked in, and when he fell to his knees in shock, he realized exactly why that had happened: there was a small girl clutching at Nines' leg, peering at him curiously. Human, maybe ten or eleven. Serious and looking slightly judgmental of him. Eerie.

"Alice." Nines' tone generally didn't alter much; he always sounded more or less bored by life, and yet... Call him crazy-- and he definitely was, for loving a fucking asshole toaster-- but his voice almost sounded soft. "Dinner will be ready soon. Why don't you get washed up?"

"Okay." The kid gave him a final once over before disappearing into the apartment.

"I'm sorry for kicking you," he said, helping him stand. "I can't have you curse in front of her. You understand."

"Are you... babysitting?" Jesus. He was, wasn't he. Holy fuck. When inventing their intimidating, terrifying murder-bot, had the weirdos over at CyberLife ever imagined he'd be playing tea and dollies with little girls, that hair that was regularly matted with blood and thirium would be tied up in pretty ribbons? "Are you seriously babysitting somebody's actual human kid?"

"Kara and Luther are in town to visit Jericho," he said. "They asked me to keep an eye on Alice while they went out with Markus."

"Just... randomly? Some random fucking androids decided to just hand over their fucking human child to you?"

"It wasn't random; I met them all last year, at the function. You were there."

Huh. Now that he thought about it, there _was_ some weird robot shit he'd gone to the previous year, as a plus one. But, remembering that event just brought up an even bigger question...

"Wait, isn't that the kid who's scared shitless of Connor for some reason?"

"Yes, she is."

"So, the kid who had a fucking PTSD panic attack and tried to hide under a table just because your creampuff brother said 'hi' to her, she's just fine and dandy with you?"

"She's never seemed to associate me with him. We get along quite well. 'Thick as thieves,' her father says."

"You're literally just a 'roided up version of him."

"I can't say it's very logical, but," he said, giving him a slight smile, "I haven't known many humans to be logical."

"Hardy-har-har. Glad you downloaded a comedian chip, Tin Man."

Nines' apartment looked much more lived-in than normal, or at least looked less like a new Mediterranean fusion restaurant. There were various toys and games scattered about-- he saw a pile of ribbons on the coffee table-- and, around the single place setting, a child's crayon drawings covered the table.

"I've made macaroni and cheese for Alice," Nines said from the kitchenette. "Would you care for some?"

"Is it the kind from the blue box?"

A sigh. "Yes, Gavin."

"Sign me up, then. And a beer, if there's any left."

There was, though Nines clearly needed to go on a "human supply" run sooner rather than later. He didn't bother setting anything up for Gavin; he just dropped a bowl in front of him so he could get right to fussily adjusting the kid's place. "Maternal Nines" was not something he had expected to see that night, but he was definitely recording every detail to memory. He wasn't sure if it was entirely for blackmail reasons, though.

The kid climbed into her chair, her steady gaze unmoving from its continued careful consideration of him even as they both began to eat, Nines watching from his own seat, tense as if raring and ready to swiftly and violently prevent Gavin from in any way corrupting her with his foul language.

"So, who are you, anyway?" she asked. "Besides Nines' boyfriend."

Gavin couldn't answer due to being too busy desperately trying not to aspirate on beer, so Nines answered for him. "Gavin is a detective with the Detroit Police Department," he said. "We're partners."

Her expression hardened somewhat. "You're friends with Connor, aren't you?" she said accusatorily.

_What? How the fuck am I getting the third degree for maybe being friends when you've been playing house with his fucking twin all day?_

"Uh, I'm not. I'm really, really not." He paused. "You're pretty young to have such a serious beef with someone. What'd he even do?"

The kid's eyes narrowed, just a bit. "He tried to kill my mom on the highway," she said, her voice deadly serious. "He's mean. She says that he's not anymore, but I don't trust him."

"Same here." He stuffed a forkful of mac into his mouth, pointedly ignoring Nines' eyes boring a hole into his skull. "He tried to kill me once, too, y'know."

Her eyes widened, and she leaned forward. "Really?"

He couldn't help but grin. "Yeah," he said. "Beat the-- pants off of me right at the station. Broke three ribs."

"Oh no!"

"To be fair," Nines said, "you did deserve it."

She cocked her head to the side, visibly thinking, an oddly robotic gesture. She wouldn't have looked out of place with a flickering little light on her temple. "Nines," she said, her voice pitched slightly higher in that classic "I want something" voice kids had. "Could Gavin stay after dinner?"

One of his eyebrows quirked up, which was the Nines equivalent of his jaw dropping against the floor. After a moment, he shrugged slightly and said, "You would have to ask him."

The kid-- Alice-- Alice turned and gave him a pleading smile, one of her little hands reaching out to give a plaintive tug on his sleeve. "Could you please stay? I've been trying to get Nines to play a board game, but they all say 'three players or more' and he won't even try!"

"Oh, don't tell me you're _that_ kind of rules freak, Nines," he said, laughing.

"If it wasn't important," Nines said very patiently, "it wouldn't be on the box."

"Fu-- The box doesn't matter, okay? This poor kid probably doesn't even know you can steal from the bank in Monopoly."

"You can?!"

"Yeah, if nobody catches you, anything you swipe is yours."

"Detective, please don't promote bank robbery to a child--"

**Author's Note:**

> kara and luther show up later that night and gavin and alice fell asleep on the couch watching ice age 85


End file.
